23 October 2009

7 Recommendations on how to annoy readers with your Tweets

You probably know that if you want you can easily annoy people. With all technology advances, you are getting even more opportunities and tools to annoy people massively. Here, we will present several effective approaches on how to annoy people on Twitter, which are brining the most promising results, based on the extensive testing.

  1. Approach every follower immediately and give him/her a strong sales pitch. That will definitely leave an expected negative feeling at the first communication between you and your new follower. What you need followers for? Really, to buy your products, to sign your pyramid, or at least visit your web pages.
  2. Daily send detailed reports on your life events. Send at least 10 tweets a day about how you are going to the store, walking your dog, scratching your nose, and washing your hair. It will make your tweets seem like a really boring reality show.
  3. Send excessive tweets all day long. Do it manually, if you really have time for that, or use any auto-twitting utility. If you send no-stop endless tweets, people will start avoiding and ignoring your tweets, but that was your target, remember?
  4. Call yourself a Guru and teach everybody the right way of doing things. Self-confidence is very important, especially when you do not have a clue about the topic of discussion.
  5. Send repeatedly the outdated new, stressing the same issues again and again. Hell, not all the people are really sharp, and you need to repeat thing for 20+ times, before they get it.
  6. No matter, what and how you write about, ask and beg to be retweeted. You need traffic; these people will multiply the exposure for you. They just need to understand, how important is spread the word about. Note that you will not reach your target, and your readers might not get annoyed enough, if you have a really important public announcement, valuable to be retweeted.
  7. Be always negative, angry, and aggressive, and you will get to the readers fast. To be even more efficient, you need to add rudeness and lack of respect in your posts. It is probably, one of the most effective advices on the list.
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BTW, please bookmark, RSS, tweet, and add to Facebook, Digg, and others, this post! I really need this traffic. I need the Google Adsense money to pay my property tax in one week!

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